i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
