Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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