??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
