He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
His nipple licking is glorious
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
