the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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