I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
