he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
