I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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