Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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