We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize