i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
