I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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