We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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