Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Randomize
