When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
