I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize