He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
