I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
