As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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