party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Can I color on your dick again?
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
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