Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
