i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
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