You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
