She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
