I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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