Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
