Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
