she smelled like a LAN party
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
