I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
im holly from the hills drunk
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
