Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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