I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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