hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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