Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
I woke up under a house in Key West
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
