the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
