were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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