Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
He felt like a one man threesome
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
