Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
