what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
