I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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