you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
