The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
You are the jesus of drinking
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
