you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I would fuck him just for his dog
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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