Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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