it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Randomize
