I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
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