weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
where does the pee come out of this thing
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
