there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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