It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
