the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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