I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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