the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
