oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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