it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
