I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
