you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
nutella sex= disaster
He passed out mid-signature
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
