you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
