I love black thongs
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
