we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
Randomize
